Strengthening Your Relationship: Practical Strategies

Honest dialogue, genuine interest, personal pursuits, and collaboration represent just some approaches for cultivating a healthy partnership. Success also hinges on understanding your requirements and your partner’s. Healthy relationships don’t follow a universal template. We all have distinct requirements. Your specific preferences regarding crucial relationship elements may evolve over time. What allows a relationship to flourish depends on the individuals involved and the room available for personal development. Relationships that diverge from conventional models can remain healthy. For instance, people practicing polyamory or ethical non-monogamy might characterize healthy relationships somewhat differently than those practicing monogamy.

What Characterizes a Healthy Relationship?

“One thing healthy relationships largely share is adaptability,” Lindsey Antin, a therapist in Berkeley, California, told Healthline. “They adapt to circumstances and the fact we’re always changing and going through different phases in life.” Here are additional characteristics of healthy relationships.

1. Open Communication

Partners in thriving relationships typically feel at ease navigating challenging discussions alongside straightforward conversations. Even when your partner holds a differing viewpoint, they listen without criticism and subsequently share their perspective. Communication flows in both directions. It’s crucial you also feel confident they’ll express their own concerns or thoughts as they arise. People in non-monogamous relationships may prioritize emotional check-ins and regular communication about interactions with other partners even more.

2. Trust

Trust encompasses honesty and integrity. You don’t withhold secrets from each other. During separations, you don’t worry about them pursuing other people. But trust extends beyond believing they won’t deceive or cheat on you. It also means feeling safe and secure with them, knowing they won’t harm you physically or emotionally. You understand they consider your best interests while also respecting you enough to encourage independent decision-making.

3. Individuality

Healthy relationships are best characterized as interdependent. Interdependence means relying on each other for mutual support while preserving your identity as a distinct individual. Put differently, your relationship maintains balance. You recognize their approval and love, but your self-worth doesn’t hinge on them. Though you support each other, you don’t depend on each other to fulfill all your needs. You maintain friendships and connections beyond the relationship and dedicate time to pursuing personal interests and hobbies.

4. Curiosity

Maintaining curiosity in your relationship means showing interest in their thoughts, aspirations, and everyday experiences. You want to witness their growth into their best version. You’re not fixated on their past self or who you believe they should become. Curiosity also means remaining open to considering or discussing modifications to your relationship structure if elements of your current arrangement become less satisfying.

5. Time Apart

Acknowledging the necessity for personal space and time away from your partner is vital in a healthy relationship. This time might involve solo relaxation, hobby pursuit, or connecting with friends and family. While shared time matters, carving out time without your partner may prove equally beneficial.

6. Playfulness or Lightheartedness

When circumstances permit, making time for enjoyment and spontaneity is important. If you can share jokes and laughter together, that’s a positive indicator. Sometimes, life obstacles or distress might impact one or both of you. This can temporarily shift your relationship’s tone and complicate relating to each other in familiar ways. But maintaining the ability to share lighter moments that relieve tension, even momentarily, strengthens your bond even during difficult periods.

7. Physical Intimacy

Intimacy frequently refers to sex, though not exclusively. As long as you’re both aligned on meeting your needs, your relationship can remain healthy without it. Physical intimacy might include kissing, embracing, cuddling, and sleeping together. Whatever intimacy type you share, physical connection and bonding matters. Your physical relationship likely remains healthy when you:

• feel comfortable initiating and discussing sex
• can handle rejection positively
• can express desires
• feel secure expressing interest in varying sexual frequency

Healthy intimacy also requires respecting sexual boundaries. This includes:

• not pressuring partners regarding sex or particular acts when they decline
• sharing information about other partners
• discussing sexual risk factors

8. Conflict Resolution

A robust relationship can be viewed as a team. You collaborate and support each other, even during disagreements or when pursuing different goals. Even in healthy relationships, you’ll encounter occasional disagreements and experience frustration or anger toward each other periodically. However, partners who address conflict without criticism or disdain can often discover compromises or solutions. If you can discuss your differences politely, honestly, and respectfully, you’re progressing well.

Relationship Warning Signs

Your relationship should enhance feelings of fulfillment, happiness, and connection. If you consistently feel more anxious, distressed, or unhappy around your partner, your relationship may be struggling. Unhealthy relationship indicators vary widely. Below are several signs to consider.

One of You Attempts to Control or Change the Other

“We are never in control of changing another person,” Antin said. If you’re concerned about specific behavior, you should feel comfortable raising it. Expressing your feelings and requesting they consider changes is acceptable. But dictating their actions or attempting to control their behavior isn’t. If they do something truly bothersome and you can’t accept it, the relationship may lack long-term viability.

Your Partner Doesn’t Respect Your Boundaries

Boundaries can emerge throughout your relationship, from respectful communication to privacy requirements. Perhaps you’ve stated, “I need personal space when I get home from work. I’m happy to see you, but I need to de-stress before any physical affection.” But they continue approaching you immediately upon your arrival, attempting to kiss you and lead you to the bedroom. When you decline, they apologize and say, “I just can’t help myself.” If you establish a boundary and they resist it or pressure you to modify it, that represents a serious warning sign.

You Don’t Spend Much Time Together

Your relationship might be struggling if you consistently see less of each other without clear reasons, such as family difficulties or increased work responsibilities. Additional warning signs include feeling distant from each other or relieved during separations. You might even seek excuses to avoid spending time together.

The Relationship Feels Unequal

Healthy relationships tend to maintain reasonable balance. Beyond financial responsibilities, relationship equality can also involve intangible elements, such as affection, communication, and relationship expectations. Periods of imbalance can occur occasionally. One partner might temporarily lose income, struggle helping with chores due to illness, or feel less affectionate because of stress or emotional turmoil. But if your relationship regularly feels unbalanced and your partner doesn’t attempt improvement, this may become problematic.

They Say Negative or Hurtful Things

Constantly criticizing each other or making intentionally hurtful remarks isn’t healthy, particularly regarding personal choices like food, clothing, or favorite TV shows. Criticism that generates shame or negative self-perception generally proves unproductive. Also, observe how they discuss others. Your mutual relationship could appear perfectly healthy. But if they use hate speech, slurs, or make discriminatory comments about others, consider what this behavior reveals about their character.

You Don’t Feel Heard in the Relationship

Perhaps you don’t feel heard because they seem disinterested when you raise problems or share thoughts. Or you might struggle sharing opinions or discussing serious matters because you worry they’ll dismiss you. Miscommunications happen, naturally. But if you discuss an issue and they seem receptive yet make no changes or appear to have completely forgotten your conversation by the following day, that’s also a warning sign.

You’re Afraid of Expressing Disagreement

If your partner responds to your differing viewpoint with dismissal, contempt, or other rudeness, this typically suggests they don’t respect you or your perspectives. If you feel you must censor yourself or feel unsafe because you worry about your partner’s reaction, consider ending the relationship. You may also consider seeking professional assistance or speaking with a trusted loved one for support. You can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit TheHotline.org for support and resources.